Beyond Labels: A Pediatrician’s Reflection on Unity

On the surface, we seem so different.  Our backgrounds, beliefs, appearances, and identities often feel more pronounced than ever these days. But if we look deeper, it becomes clear: we are far more alike than we are different.

On a concrete level, this truth became clear to me on the first day of anatomy lab in medical school. Dozens of cadavers lay before us, each with unique external features. But when we began our work, once we opened them up and explored what was beneath, they were the same. Their differences, quite literally, were only skin deep.

One of the greatest gifts of being a pediatrician in a busy primary care office is the opportunity to meet so many diverse people. (Granted, I’d love to spend more time with each of them than the standard 10-15-minute slot allows.) We get to care for families of different races, nationalities, sexual orientations, ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and political views.  And yet, no matter what surface differences may exist, there is always one constant: we all want what’s best for the child in front of us. We may come at it from different perspectives, disagreeing about vaccines or whether or not an antibiotic is needed, but at the core, we share the same intention.

In that spirit, and in honor of Pride Month, I want to share a story that my daughter once told me. She used to work in my office as a medical assistant and translator. One day, while rooming a young child, she noticed the pronouns listed in the chart were simply “I/me.” It was so innocent, so sweet. She had to share it, and it made us both smile.

Children are beautiful in that way. Their identities are still forming. They don’t yet see themselves through the lens of cultural norms or social labels. Sometimes they even refer to themselves in the third person, like George Costanza in the Seinfeld episode where he says,  “George is getting upset!” They narrate their lives with a kind of unfiltered purity that we, as adults, often forget.

As we grow, our identities evolve. We become more defined by roles, affiliations, values, and pronouns. I wholeheartedly support people’s individual pronouns and honor the importance of using them. They are a meaningful way of affirming someone’s truth and dignity.  These differences between us are important and should be celebrated, and we should remember that under the surface, we are the same.

In response to this young patient’s pronouns.  I would like to offer pronouns of my own:  “we/us”.  These pronouns remind us of something fundamental, our shared humanity. They represent connection over separation, unity over division.  To me, these are “pronouns of peace”.

In my work as a coach and through my meditation practice, I’ve come to understand that to best express your individuality with strength and grace, you must build on a strong foundation. That foundation is your connection to others and to something larger than yourself. Without it, your identity is like a house of cards; fragile, easily shaken by challenge or difference.

If you are certain that your truth is the only truth and have no tolerance for others, I encourage you to look inward. Like a tree in a storm, you can only withstand turbulence if your roots run deep.   

In a time when our differences often feel magnified, “we/us” is a mindset that can bring us back to each other. It encourages empathy, collaboration, and a sense of belonging. Imagine what might change if we approached more of our interactions from this place.  If we saw each other not as “other” but as fellow travelers in the human experience.

So today, I invite you to join me in embracing the Pronouns of Peace (we/us). Let’s continue to celebrate individuality while remembering our deep interconnectedness. Let’s live with a “we/us” mindset, fostering understanding, compassion, and resilience.

Because in the end, no matter what differences we carry on the outside, we are all in this together.